The fish

Today I have tried to save a fish.

I walked on the beach with the morning sun already burning my white face, my feet in a wet sand occasionally cooled by a coming wave. As I looked down there was a green sparkle. A shiny little stirrings, a thing grasping for life, it's mouth in a constant movement, breathing hardly and eyes wide open. A tiny little shiny fish, glittering as the most precious emerald.

I wanted to save her, I wanted to make her live. Kneeling down I picked up the soft, warm body trembling in my fingers, and starring dumbly without looking at any particular point.

'Would I eat it?'

I asked myself. It took me just a second to realize; I could not. Once I saw the life in this petite creature I simply could not think of killing it or harvesting it. I held the fish with a feeblest touch possible, too scared of breaking her soft, fragile bones. I threw her back into the ocean; not too hard, not too far. I tried to wait for a moment when the waves were smallest so she will have time to swim into the deep. I saw the little creature grasping for an air and swimming upwards as if a person tries not to drawn but has no arms. Then I lost the sight of her.

I stayed there, watching for some time to see if the fish is not going to be cast ashore again. Then I continued walking, giving her about 20% chance of survival. As I made few steps I saw the same shiny emerald in the sand. I picked up the little thing one more time wandering if it perhaps might be a different fish. I'm pretty sure though it was the same one however if it would be a human I'd say she has aged over twenty years since I touched her for the first time. Now I knew her chances of survival are zero to none but I throw her to the sea again. This time though I didn't stay watching, and left immediately. I continued my journey thinking maybe she did wanted to die. Maybe she liked being torn out of the sea the second time it happened, so to finish her torment. Perhaps she was being casted for some time, heavy waves torturing the fragile body. 

But then, I'm a city girl. Have no clue how the nature works. I even struggle buying fruits on the market, not knowing what is good, and what is not yet. The other day I bought a pineapple- a big one indeed. Expensive, but big one. My concern was the price and whether I'm getting a good deal. As I walked off I realized I do not know if the fruit is good at all. 

Stopping a Russian tourist I asked: ' Do you think this is really two kg?' I gave him the fruit to weight it in his hand.

' I think so,' the answer satisfied me. I payed a good price then.

' But it's not ready yet,' he told me. ' Too green, smells of earth.'

Oh, okay then... city girl... He told me to wait for two days. 

I wander how I used to buy pineapples back in the UK. Especially the vegetables look differently in India, and of course, taste waaaay much better.