The street really teaches you a lesson

Today I have learned many new things. Firstly, I found out that people who I had always avoided are actually quite great and secondly I, once again, realized that the sun always comes out after the rain...

For the past few days I was quite sad due to the unknown future which is unfolding in front of me only with tiny baby steps and moreover, due to the fact that I am quite incapable. Therefore the happenings of today really boosted my self-confidence, that of as a person and as a seller.

The princess

Written for my husband. I even don't know why... ;)

in the faraway land where we met
where my eyes met yours I keep coming back
to find you again my love my wife
to pretend you are still here my dear

What am I good for?

I have a problem and I, for the world, do not know what to do about it.
Few times in my life I happened to be very low on cash. I had money for a month only but somehow I did not seem to worry about it too much. Somehow, I'll make it through. And I always had. However, for the first time I am really worried about my finances.
You see, I would not call myself a greedy woman. No, in fact I think money change character; too little money makes you miserable, too much money makes you greedy. I think money is no good for us and the way I see it, it has always been just a necessary means of survival, just a social norm. So why on earth am I worried this time?
I became annoyed, count every single penny, and most of all, each day I cry because I don't know what to do next. Would I be able to find some sort of income soon? A job? A little something on the side?
The circumstances are a bit different this time though. I am responsible for one more person; for my husband. So firstly, I think this is why I am being so overly sensitive (it's not anymore about me being hungry, it's about getting food for a person I hold most dear ) and secondly, well to tell you the truth: I did try to earn some money and I was not as lucky as my other half who, let's be honest, puts sooo much less effort into it (I am referring to the selling part of course.. he actually makes all the stuff) but due to his karma, goodness, looks or who knows what, sells simple stuff for a very good price! Why the heck is he so lucky?? Of course, I am happy at least one of us keeps the family alive, but candidly... I feel as if I failed. I promised myself I will get the income for us but I am not able to. Moreover I am way much better businessperson as he is; yet I am not lucky. One more reason for my frustration is that all this is only reminding me how much would it be better if only I possessed some skills: I can't play any musical instrument, I can't do macrame, sew, make bracelets, carve coconuts or god knows what else my husband is capable of!

The worst part is that he is not aware of his talents (or better to say how easy would it be to make the cash out of it). Anyway, I wrote this post because I have too many questions and no answers. Is there anything I could do better? (of course there is! There always is. But what?!?)

Naturally bad

 I recently finished reading a fantastic book. Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl. 

What a beautiful, inspiring and wise young girl she had become! Especially the last third of the book shows her true wisdom. She often deals with matters like war, racial issues, feminism... I completely agree with everything Anne has to say and I am astonished; my blood literally stops at the thought of the wisdom this young girl possessed. Things, which we were able to comprehend only after a life time of experience, she grasped at a very young age, so easily, so progressively.

The 'best' job ever

I am a bra fitter.
And it's not such a cool job as everyone thinks. Especially guys. Whenever I say what I do for living, their first responses are (in this order): 1. jaw dropped 2. woooow 3. “So you get to touch boobs everyday? Cool!” .

If the roles were reversed

Nothing major have happened to me today, but even being squeezed on my butt in the middle of the day , in a very safe touristic city by a middle class, smart looking young Indian, makes you wonder where this fucking world is going into. I got scared. I didn't do anything wrong, I refuse to be punished just for the fact that I am a woman. Oh yes, I forgot- we are just supposed to sit in the house and take care of our family. Do not even go out, cover yourself; also the eyes so you couldn't even see, maybe that would be the solution. Or I got another solution. Let's castrate all the men, kill them off, we don't need them. Why do I need to suffer just because I have a pussy. Why men cannot suffer..?
Damn it, nothing has really happened, so why I keep thinking about the stupid incident. Life goes on. Never mind that have happened to so many of us, on multiple occasions. And never mind that the fault is always ours. Fuck such a sexist world.

P.S.  Don't forget to watch the vid in the beginning of this post. Very well-made short film worth your time. Peace!

Because I don't have a penis....

It is a well known fact the sexes in India are treated very differently. And it is very sad too. But what to do.
Women are housewives mainly, born to serve the husband and make him happy. Bear the children, take care of them, cook, and eat just after the man of the household had filled his stomach. To my great surprise Indian women enjoy this cohabitation. They want money only from their spouse in return for the warm home. They don't aspire for anything more than just to have a family (of course, I am generalizing).
The other day, when I couldn't bear the fucking heat in my room anymore, I laid down in front of our room. Just simply on the floor, in my clothes, in the hall , just like an Indian. Lower class Indians do it all the time. White women probably not. That is why half of the hotel came checking me out until the morning. Fuck the safety, I was too hot.
I guess Muslim women in their burqas must be boiling yet it is normal for their husbands to take off their shirts. Fucking sexism. When I went for the swim, Indians were in their clothes. All of the girls; the ones wearing a saree, and moreover also the ones in jeans, dipped into the ocean fully clothed. I've seen few guys fooling with the waves in their jeans too. However most of them went only in their longis or underwear. If I would do that I would probably get raped. So how come women wouldn't rape a guy in his underwear? Well, I would, but that is a completely different story.
Unfortunately, this is no different in the west. Only the means of sexism are different. While western women are often career minded that doesn't necessarily mean they escaped the social stigma of the sex discrimination. Magazines feed us with skinny models, media sells us beauty products which will make us slim, young, desirable. So only slim and young is desirable? According to this world, the answer is yes. However male sex symbols are men like George Clooney (because being older and white-haired is hot), Bruce Willis (because bold is sexy) or Robert Pattinson (I seriously have no clue what is sexy about him). Imagine though a women with the same features. Older than 50? What a turtle! White hair? Yak! Bold? I think I am going to puke...
If you reverse the roles, so the man would have female features- slim, young, with firm breasts and buttocks, shaved, tanned... all of this is definitely desirable and acceptable by the society. So in conclusion: men can do anything. Even pee while standing. Women are not allowed. Fucking sexist world.