To be alone or not to be

Longingness for loneliness should be perfectly normal and acceptable. It is not.

However there is a difference between being alone, and being lonely. Everyone needs, and should be, sometimes alone. In order to understand oneself.. to listen to one's own thoughts, to comprehend one's own mind, to evaluate our life, to better ourselves.

I read a very good article pointing out all these obvious facts- or at least for me it was obvious- so I will try not to repeat what was already written there.

I will try to write from my own experience. I desperately need to be left alone. If I am not, I feel angry, I feel hatred, and I feel lost. And why? I am lost because I think there is nothing for me to do. I'm bored, unproductive, inartistic. I hate everything and everyone; therefore hurting people, either my beloved or strangers. In both cases the result is very, very sad. And in the end, I get angry. I'm mostly angry at myself for feeling all these emotions. Therefore, and it is simple as that, I just need to be left alone from time to time. As everyone else does. Not everyone though can accept it.

You should try it sometimes. Meditate perhaps. Or yesterday, I managed to get lost in my thoughts even while sitting in a group of people. I wasn't exactly sitting 'in' that group. I was in one room- a terrace to be more precise- with them, however chilling on the other side. Looking up at the sky, my mind was wandering. And I enjoyed it very much. What certainly helped was an uninteresting, absolutely boring topic they talked about (effects of various narcotics) and so I had all that time to myself. Of course, most of the time I need to be physically left alone to be able to 'hear myself'. And you would be amazed what sort of things you could hear! Try it.

Being alone heals me. Makes me appreciate myself more, therefore loving more my surrounding. I start thinking about what I want to do, what I want to write, create etc therefore it boosts my artistic need. I become nicer. I become calmer. At first the thoughts might be little erratic and you might think about everything at once. Your work, your family, money, weather... And then you start being calmer and calmer (it might not take minutes, perhaps more like hours or days to come to that point!) and focus more on one thought only. Not only think the thought, but you will find yourself elaborating, discussing it,creating questions and answering the solutions. It will be automatic, like a river which flows steadily without questioning its course, just goes and goes and goes...

And there is nothing wrong in wanting to be left alone. People usually don't understand my request though- they find me rude and unsocialized. Somewhat the society puts too much emphasis on Cicero's quote that people need people. We cannot live alone. Nonsense. We need the so called alone time to be then better with other human beings.

And if you feel lonely, take my advice: try to enjoy your time alone, take the most of it. Learn how to love yourself- then you wouldn't feel lonely. Because YOU and only you are your best friend, and you are the person you can most rely on in your life.